Monday, March 10, 2008

Excuse me Sir...

Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek with the fam waiting in line at Carrabba’s in Fort Myers . . . Sox rookie Brandon Moss meeting friends to catch a flick at the Regal 20 . . . Pitcher Jon Lester begrudgingly signing his old Pawtucket Red Sox cap offered up to him by a PawSox long-time season ticket holder now in possession of it . . .

I usually don't take my news from the Inside Track, however, Jon, you best not be signing things begrudingly until you are 18-4 with a 2.49 ERA. Do I make myself clear?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

50 things about me...!

Inspired by Chad Finn, who was apparently inspired by one if his wife’s friends…here are 50 things about me.

50. My favorite outfit is sweatpants and sneakers.
49. At Big Papi’s charity event two summers ago, he pinched my cheek and said, “Hi sweetie”. To which Katelyn responded, “That was really cute, in a creepy kind of way”.
48. At the same event, I caught a Sox cheating on their wife, had Jason Varitek touch the small of my back and say, “Excuse me”, and won a 1,000 gift certificate.
47. The most amount of Red Sox games I have ever been to in once season was somewhere between 20 and 25. In 2006. I went to about 15 last year.
46. I have a horrible addiction to shoes and purses.
45. My favorite time to get drunk is in the middle of the afternoon on a nice day. At the beach.
44. One of my goals is to go to every state, and 6 of 7 continents.
43. I hate cold and am not going to Antarctica.
42. I am so bad at cleaning my room and organizing it is not even funny.
41. I hope to live somewhere someday where I look out the window and see the ocean.
40. I am the oldest of all the cousin’s on my Dad’s side.
39. I used to repeatedly call my best friend Michelle, Mom.
38. Once Michelle and I had a fight at my house, and she crawled into a bag of clothes that her brothers had given my brother and said she didn’t have to leave because that was her “part of my house”
37. I used go to camping all summer long in a pop up camper.
36. Michelle’s brother closed the door on my finger and my nail fell off. I also once smashed my mouth open on the monkey bars.
35. I am addicted to the “The Biggest Loser” and have a crush on Bernie.
34. I could watch Sex and the City, Dawson’s Creek, and Grey’s Anatomy for 16 hours straight, and have.
33. Preferably with Erin.
32. My favorite Fenway bar is the Baseball Tavern with Katie and Erin (and the rest of you bums).
31. I’ve been to ballparks in Toronto, Baltimore, Boston, New York (AL), Dallas, Tampa Bay, and Detroit.
30. The fans I hated the most were the Tigers. What a bunch of dicks. Keep wearing that ALCS Champion Shirt asses.
29. I had never been anywhere but the Outerbanks before I moved to North Carolina.
28. I went to South Carolina for the first time this weekend.
27. I am super close to a lot of my cousins, but probably this is the real order, 1. Kerry, 2. Josh, 3. Kryssie, 4. Tyler.
26. The furthest I have ever drove in one day is 13 hours.
25. The most fun I will probably ever have in my life was Worcester Hall freshman year of college.
24. I don’t think I’ll ever love another bar like I live Leitrims.
23. I have a thing for a guy in a jersey.
22. Moving to NC to teach was a fantastic idea. And will be especially great in July.
21. My date of birth. I think that it is a good day, and I fulfill all characteristics of Pisces.
20. I can’t imagine there has ever been a better/closer class at Assumption College than the Class of 2005.
19. I could eat fried chicken for every meal.
18. I have actually adjusted to where I really like Starbucks coffee.
17. My current favorite song is “Stay” by Sugarland.
16. I absolutely love country music.
15. I think I have to move another 2 hours south where there are palm trees.
14. My order for Worcester bars. 1. Leitrims, 2. Mahoneys, 3. The Dive, 4. Rosies, 5. Ho Toy (Top Gun please). (I feel like I’m forgetting one). My order for Boston bars. 1. Bell in Hand 2. The Harp, 3. Purple Shamrock, 4. Lucky's, 5. Hennessy's.
13. I never cried so hard as I did the last night of the Cape trip Senior Year. I then passed out, and woke up 2 hours later and everyone was still up!
12. I like my ice coffee medium, iced, with cream, and sugar.
11. Someday, I hope to be a housewife. Working is so overrated. And it has to be able having 1 or 2 kids than having 20 all day.
10. I am lucky to have made some really great North Carolina friends.
9. I once thought that when you were an adult, you would get to the point where you weren’t tired when you woke up, but were instead, ready to start your day. This is false.
8. I will never get over last year’s AFC lost, this years Super Bowl loss, and the 2003 ALCS loss. 7. Countryfest is the best day of the year every year.
6. I am going to the Outerbanks in August and I can’t wait. I am also almost going to Red Sox Spring Training in 3 weeks except they decided to go to Japan.
5. I am far too young to have a brother that is going to be a freshman in college.
4. I miss Amy sleeping on my little yellow couch.
3. Some beach, somewhere, there’s a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair with my name on it.
2. My brother is the best person I know.
1. I have the absolute best friends in the world and it kind of sucks they life 800 miles away.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

So long Asante...

I'm having trouble sleeping right now due to the fact that for some reason it is over 100 degrees in my room and I have a vodka tonic induced head ache...So I figured I throw a few thoughts about the Asante Samuel signing your way...I'm hungover and maybe still a little drunk, so I take no responsiblity for these being coherent.

*Asante signed a 6 year 57 million dollar contract with the Philladelphia Eagles, 20 million of which is guaranteed. Good for Asante. Seeing that my team is always hurting on the secondary it seems, I hate to see any corner go. That being said, would I want to pay 60 million dollars for a corner who:

a. Routinely misses tackles going for a hit.

b. Routinely does not wrap up tackles.

c. Does not like to get hit.

d. Didn't make the biggest pick of the season. I'm not saying it was an easy play, but I think it could have been made.

e. $ is cleary more important to him, seeing he just picked McNabb over Brady as his QB.

Probably not, which is why he isn't a Patriot anymore.

*I think I'm having a harder time moving on from football because I get no spring training coverage down here.

*I think that Clay and Jon are going to have huge years.

*I think I am being neglectful in not having ballpark trips planned at this date. I am usually much more on top of things.

*I think that the fact that you can smoke in bars in North Carolina is taking a day off my life everytime I go out.

*I think Sam Cassel is a good fit for the Celts, but I think he might be almost too much of a leader for Doc to handle.

And finally, last night I was out, and stupidly started talking football with some guy, and I said that the Patriots Super Bowl loss was probably the 5th worst thing that had ever happened to me, number 4 is 2003 ALCS, and 1-3 involve deaths. And he looks at me and says, "But you do realize that the number 5 worst thing for you is the number 3 best thing in the lives of 98% of the country". And I said to him, "You know I could take you right? I have some pent up anger that I need to get rid of" And he laughed, but I'm pretty sure he was a little afraid. I really feel like one of these nights, I'm going to fight someone who makes fun of the Patriots. I want my football mojo back. I'm tired of all this crap.

I need the Red Sox to play a more prominent role in my life.

PS. Anyone know if you buy the MLB TV package if you get Spring Training games?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Lofa Tatupu...coming to a gym near you!

So, yesterday I'm at the gym. And at our gym, we have this fixture there, this rather large gentleman that is in unbelievable shape. Like, maybe is a professional body builder, maybe is an unemployed NFL defensive lineman huge. Almost anytime, day or night, you go to the gym, this guy is there. And the other day he had someone with him. A fellow, in ridiculously good shape guy, wearing a Seahawks Lofa Tatupu shirt. Now, I really only know what a few people outside the Patriots look like, but Lofa I'm semi familiar with, he's a linebacker, played at USC, plays for Seattle, and is of Hawaiian descent. The gentleman walking on the treadmill next to me (low speed, high incline) is about 6'2", largely built, and looks like freaking Lofa Tatupu. Now I'm distracted and am really thinking that it's probably him. If it was Lofa, does he wear his own shirt? Probably not. But that didn't matter to me.
(I was just in bed for like, a 1/2 hour when I remembered that I forgot to google image search Lofa last night. So I get out and come out to the living room to check on my laptop.
Roommate: What are you doing? Thought you went to bed.
Me: Yeah, I think I saw an NFL lineman at the gym yesterday, so I'm google imaging him.
Roommate: Is he from NC?
Me: No, he plays for Seattle and is from Hawaii.
Roommate: But you think you saw him here. At Gold's Gym. In New Bern, NC.
Me: Well, yes, I actually kind of do.
Roommate: Okayyyyy. )
Here's how this worked in my head. BuiltGymMan and Lofa went to USC together and played football. BGM did not quite have what it takes to make it to the NFL, and has turned to bodybuilding to keep the competitive juices flowing. Lofa, went to Hawaii at the end of the NFL season. Then went up to Massachusetts to visit his dad (a coach at Curry College), and is hanging with his old USC bud in New Bern before heading to Seattle to get ready for the first Seahawks mini camp. I finally remembered seeing Lofa tonight, so I google imaged him. And well, I don't think they are the same person. But they do resemble eachother. So, now I think maybe I saw Lofa's cousin Loofah.

Reasons why I hate being a girl / a member of this society...

It have two cousins, an uncle, and my mom's birthday in the next few weeks, so I was perusing the card section at Target the other day and came across this one, meant probably for a girl to give to an other girl. I'm assuming all this because I don't know what kind of stupid you'd have to be to find this funny.

On the outside to the card, it says, "Top Ten Signs That You Are In Hell"

10. Convenient sign that reads, "You are now in hell". Now, I am just a humble school teacher, not a marketing guru, but I think that #10 means, "We could only think of 9 funny things".

9. Nothing but sports, fishing, and the Three Stooges on every TV channel. Now, I'm not a huge 3 Stooges fan, but I can handle an episode every now and then. Not crazy about watching fishing on TV, but I like seeing where they go to fish, like, the Keys. Who doesn't love the Keys? And as for the 24 hour sports? Does that mean we get Dish? NFL Network? NESN? Again, not seeing the point.

8. All the shoe stores are closed. Is the packy open?

7. One stall in the ladies room, and no toilet paper. While this is a bit of a conundrum; most of my favorite places in the world have one stall and no toilet paper. Mainly, Lietrims and Countryfest.

6. Skinny jeans are back in style. Not my favorite look, but not exactly what I would imagine "hell" to be.

5. You're the only one of your girlfriends NOT to get carded at the bar. But there's a bar? And I'm at it with my girlfriends? That's pretty hellish.

4. Men all look hot - but only because they're enveloped in flames. Now that seems more hellish for them. I mean, I'm across the room drinking a vodka tonic, wearing skinny jeans, watching sports on tv.

3. Your blind date turns out to be your gynecologist. So, you smile, say, isn't this funny, and have a few more vodka tonics, and then say goodnight. Uncomfortable, yes, but number 3 on the Top 10 Signs That You Are In Hell?

2. Everywhere you go, people want to show you photos of their grandchildren. Um, so you say, "Wow, she's really cute and looks smart" and keep walking.

1. You order a venti decaf macciato with no foam and you get a grande regular macchiato with foam. This is the most hellish thing that can happen to someone? Does this mean that there is only Starbucks and no Dunkin Donuts? Because that would be a bummer.

Um, that's just a horrific collection. What about being tortured, or, roasting for eternity, or being surrounded by Yankees fans, or having people chant 18-1 for all eternity, or...spending eternity sober? Now that would be hellish.

What bothers me most about this card, as that fellow people of the same gender as myself are supposed to find that funny.